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had some issues with internet last night...so here it is now..

Sunday, April 3.

The day started at the HCMC Somerset Hotel, a familiar and comfortable spot, as close to home as could be when I was half the way around the world from home. The night had been somewhat restless, between nerves, excitement, jetlag and the fear of a tightness in my chest becoming an illness I could do without while on my own. At 1am, following several hours of broken sleep, I relented and tried the ‘jet lag’ medication the travel doctor had prescribed. It promised 4 hours of sleep. Never having tried such a medication, I was hesitant, but it seemed the time...no reason to worry if I was comatose for a few hours. No cries to be responded to in the night. The effects were quick and a little less than 4 hours later I was wishing there was another 4 hours before I was due for breakfast so I could indulge again.


At 7am I was due to skype home and talk to the boys before they headed for bed. It is strange to be on such opposite schedules. I got ready, finished packing up, and before the allotted 9am meetup time I had a call from Loan who had arrived and was waiting in the lobby. V was there to meet Loan as well, so I didn’t feel bad finishing up what I had to before heading down, still on time, for 9am.

We ate a good breakfast, I was justifiably distracted but managed to get down some eggs, fruit and a bowl of congee. It was good Loan was there to encourage my appetite. At 10am we caught the taxi to the hydrofoil station, got tickets and waited the short while for the 10:30 boat. All the while turning away the same man who Loan explained, if he touched our bags, he would charge a fee. Fair enough.

When it came time to load up onto the boat I was thanking my lucky stars for my internet friends who had talked in some detail about this process. I had packed relatively lightly for my 3 week trip to adopt a baby girl, 2 suitcases and a backpack (and not the biggest suitcases either). Even Loan said I was a light traveller. But she had casually suggested I take just a few things for my time in Vung Tau. When we determined I could be here a bit of a while she agreed I could take all my luggage. But the day before the trip V reiterated what R had emailed about this boat. That there wasn’t really room for luggage, that the access plank was a rickety, narrow thing spanning the gap between shore and boat. I decided to downsize to one suitcase and backback. And I even decided on the smaller suitcase.

When it came time to load up I saw they had not exaggerated. This plank was no plank at all. It was a haphazard collection of slats about 3” wide nailed together to look more like a fence than an element of transportation. And to reach said ramp you had to descend a narrow flight of cement stairs. And so, feeling thankful and in control, I grabbed my bag, pack on my back, said a quick prayer and headed onto what was nearly the last leg of the journey to my daughter.

The boat itself it fairly unremarkable. You have an assigned seat in an enclosed area where the curtains are kept drawn. There is a snack bar, but I didn’t notice a washroom. It fills right up and tickets are, apparently, best ordered in advance, although it seems you pay when you pick up (Loan did all this). The are 2 small areas in the middle of the craft where you can step out to feel the breeze in your hair and admire the sights. 1.5 hours later we arrived, and my second adventure across the plank began. This time, the boat had been moored 3 deep, requiring us to navigate between and across the various crafts. The suitcase I had I would say was the largest one that would have been manageable. 2 suitcase would have been a nightmare.

Loan guided us through the many men trying to either help us with our luggage, offer us a cyclo ride, or taxi service. As we reached the road she grabbed us a taxi and off we went to check in at the Binh An 4. I haven’t quite got this place figured out. It is not on the strip of touristy hotels. It is about a 5 minute walk from the orphanage (I am told). It isn’t the first hotel Loan suggested, I requested it, having heard about it, again, from my internet friends. I think I got a bit of special treatment here, having just seen TD, she was able to put in a recommendation for me. We were shown to a suite on the 9th floor which seemed nice enough, then the lady mentioned to Loan that TD had set aside another room. It was determined that that must be meant to be my room so we headed back down to the 1st floor (which is actually a floor above ground level) to a suite that was even more nicely finished. So I am confident and comfortable here. A few minor things will need to picked up at the market that would have been provided at the Somerset, but for $25 versus $120 I can manage to get some dishsoap and a dishcloth, some washcloths and a tea towel.

Loan came in and helped get the AC started, set at a baby appropriate level, briefed me on keeping her out of the drafts from it and the fan, showed me the delivery menus and helped make me feel at ease. She was called to meet with TD, leaving me a good half hour to prep the room and satisfy myself with the contents of my backpack for the trip to the orphanage. It become apparent lunch was not going to be happening before our 2pm appointment at the orphanage, so I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge (coke and Heinekin also in there) and a granola bar I had brought.

Just as I was getting nervous that it was getting close to 2pm and no word from Loan she appeared at the door. She had asked me that morning at breakfast if I wanted to take the baby or visit. She encouraged me to consider visiting, in her own subtle way, then discouraged me over fear of scabies. So when the vice director returned her call confirming our 2pm appointment it was decided...I would take the baby! So I had had a few hours to build up expectation.

Of course I’ve been to the orphanage before so the appearance and layout didn’t surprise me. We went into the Director’s office and signed a book with photos of children and adoptive parent's contact info. I had promised to take photos for 3 waiting families so asked to go see them first. 1 of the 3 was in the same room as our baby...so he came last.

I had brought 2 dozen small cars, the kind that wind up when you pull them back, and a bottle of Gymboree bubbles. When the kids realized I had loot they were keen to get involved. I recognized one little boy as the one F had lent her camera to to take pictures of Trinh. He seems like a real character. I saw him again later as we were leaving out playing yo yos with some older boys.

Some of the children wear coloured bracelets which must indicate something about them, but when I asked Loan just said ‘the nannies put them on’. I had asked about 1 girl, not realizing at the time that several children had them. I would guess it has something to do with special medical conditions or perhaps which room they belong in.

When we arrived at the baby room (and I should warn you...wear slip on shoes to the orphanage as you will be in and out of your shoes if you want to see anything) Trinh’s main nanny was standing holding her ready to let me meet her, with very wet eyes. It was clear she cared greatly for her. It was a sweet moment, surprisingly tear free, but by then I suppose I had been a bit numbed by the interaction with the other children. She was comfortable to be handed to me. She had recently had a bottle and within minutes fell asleep on my shoulder. Her nanny showed me the photos she had saved of the baby on her phone.

We took some more photos, visited with the nannies, then returned to the office for some paperwork for me to have custody and to promise to complete followup reports.

Back to the nursery to change the now sleeping Trinh into the clothes I had brought. We said our goodbyes. Trinh slept on the way to the hotel and a bit after our arrival. Loan and I split a Coke and the man came to set up the crib...a rocking crib similar to the ones in the orphanage except the basket is made of mesh not steel.

Loan had tickets for the 4:20 hydrofoil so she headed off and I set about trying to comfort baby Trinh who was realizing her world had completely changed. I offered her the bottle that had been sent home but she was not interested. So I bit the bullet, striped her down, bathed her in the kitchen sink (which she really enjoyed) and lathered her with the Nix cream. The advise from the nannies had been to but her down when she cried, so as much as I hated to do it, after trying to console her in my arms to no avail, I lay her in the crib and rocked her while singing the only song that popped into my head – kumbiya. She quieted right down and would have fallen right asleep if not for the construction noise from next door. But she did drift off, on her stomach, also as instructed by the nannies. After gazing at her a few more moments I knew I had to shower and change, in the hopes of remaining scabby free.

When she woke she was still disconcerted about the unfamiliarity of everything. She would not take her bottle. Remembering how hot Nathaniel liked his bottle I heated it progressively hotter 3 times over before she reluctantly agreed to take it. Realizing she was not used to being held and fed I placed her on my lap facing the TV, patted her tummy and offered her the bottle. Midway through she tilted her head back, looked me square in the eye, holding my gaze for the longest time as if to say: ‘this is not what I am used to, but maybe it will be okay...do you have me covered?’ And of course I do!

After the bottle she was downright happy and I could sit her up with the pillow behind and take some photos. I figured I’d better capitalize on the moment so headed down to the front desk to order delivery. I selected chicken, potatoes and pepsi combo from Lotteria which arrived in less than 10 minutes. Trinh and I enjoyed some air on the street while we waited. Trinh was quite happy in the sling. And we just so happened to be there as TD arrived, so she could see how well we were doing. She seemed genuinely pleased that I had her out on the street ‘connected’ as she called it. And she seemed pleased that she was nice and warm in her sling.

Trinh sat in her sling while I ate then fell into a deep sleep before I could change her, or offer her a bottle. She slept a bit in her crib, woke, had 2/3 of a bottle then back to sleep. She cried out again a bit later, I lay her on the bed where she drowsily finished the bottle. I reluctantly again placed her in her crib where she has been since.

I had heard from V what the schedule of her baby is, and I received baby Trinh’s schedule from the orphanage. V’s baby sleeps 3 hours, is awake for 2 and repeats during the day. One bottle at night. According to baby Trinh’s schedule she sleeps through the night. It’s 2:45 am now and she has cried out twice since she finished her bedtime bottle, the first time she stopped before I could get there, and she is right beside the bed. The second time the cry preceded a big toot, I rocked the crib a couple times and she is asleep again.

I have been waking every hour or so, checking her. It is now almost 3am and I ought to try and sleep. But I am supposing I will have a good nap opportunity at some point tomorrow.